♠ Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Mom n Dad went to pay a visit to my granny today- the only alive one. Yes she's alive, but very dead. She's almost brain dead, because she's senile and has Alzheimer's disease, & she's got cataracts, so her eyes look extremely misty, foggy.
Dad said mom started to cry when she saw her mother.
Mommy told me moments ago, 'I couldn't recognize her, her eyes were sunken and her lips were so thin u could trace the shape of her jaw. It was very heart wrenching. She had a very blank expression on her face, her eyes especially. And she kept gripping to the side of the bed, and her clothes like she was very frightened of something.'

Dad said she resembled a zombie.

My granny led a very hard life.

She married an Australian, and adopted my mother and my aunt.

For a few years, they lived in a house, enjoyed the luxury of having colour tv sets in their home, enjoyed good food and pretty clothes.
But one day he just left for Australia, sure he sent letters and money back to them. But it faded slowly, and simply ceased.
They lost the house, because they didn't own it, it was only rented.
Granny had to work to feed the 2 kids, they later lived in a tiny flat in AMK.
She cleaned toilets, opened gambling dens ( she was a heavy gambler,smoker)
Yes she wasn't the best mother, but at least she took care of them, they weren't even her flesh and blood in the first place.
She grew older, and got muddle headed.

Lost all her savings to a man, an asshole. Who? Not even my mom knows. Gran wouldn't say.
She aged rapidly, falling down one day and hurting her leg, she walked with a limp later on.
Yeah, and u know, she starting living in a old folks home, till now.
Sad isn't it?
She's just an empty shell now. Waiting for something to happen. For God to take her home? Send her to hell to suffer somemore?
Only heaven knows.

i am a female.

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City's breakin' down on a camel's back.
They just have to go 'cuz they dont know whack
So all of you fill the streets it's appealing to see.
You wont get out the county, 'cos you're bad and free
You've got a new horizon it's federal style.
A melancholy town where we never smile
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they gotta kissing, 'cuz I don’t get sleep, no.

*BEEP* Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Turn forever hand in hand.
Take it all in on your stride.
It is sinking, falling down.
Love forever love is free.
Time forever,you and me.
Windmill,windmill for the land.
Is everybody in




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