♠ Friday, July 22, 2005

For once in my life, i feel really, really, utterly, depressed.

I don't think i've ever cried so much.
I cannot believe wad is happening to my world.

It has shattered in front of me. I'm writhing in pain and agony, nothing has felt this insane before. I'm ripping apart inside, my heart is just so,so, painful.

where are you? Suddenly i have no reason to survive on this planet, but i know suicide is definitely not the way out. I cannot bear with this. Every song, everything, every place, i am reminded of you. What is wrong with me? I hate to let this happen. I hate to let my emotions overwhelm and kill me.

Love me please,
just a little bit longer
together we can make it
our love is much too young to break it
love me please
just a little bit harder.

I can't let you go
everytime i look at you i can feel the glow.
baby please.


But i know, it's not possible. It's not going to work out anymore, I deserve better than this.

i wish i'd stop wallowing in self pity.

i wish i'd get hit by a car, a lorry, anything.
someone could stab me.
i'm so tempted now.
self destruction.
no.
NO.
please don't do that to me.
I was just unlucky.

It's better to love thoroughly, and soulfully and cried, then to not love at all.

destruct me, please.

I don't want to go on.

i am a female.

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City's breakin' down on a camel's back.
They just have to go 'cuz they dont know whack
So all of you fill the streets it's appealing to see.
You wont get out the county, 'cos you're bad and free
You've got a new horizon it's federal style.
A melancholy town where we never smile
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they gotta kissing, 'cuz I don’t get sleep, no.

*BEEP* Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Turn forever hand in hand.
Take it all in on your stride.
It is sinking, falling down.
Love forever love is free.
Time forever,you and me.
Windmill,windmill for the land.
Is everybody in




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